We have hit the reset button...

Ok, I have two blogs.  One that I send out to my girls, my chicks, the ones I walk with daily and share my life with. This  one though will serve as kind of a journal for my family, detailing the God-moving experiences along this road of adoption.  Terry used the phrase 'we hit the reset button' when we felt comfirmed that God indeed wanted us to adopt.  We already had our family complete, we thought.  Like everyone else we enjoyed our kids and loved them very much but spent some of our time day dreaming of when they will all be independent and out of the house.  (Don't judge)  The places we would go, the things we would have!  Then the Lord grabbed our hearts and spoke otherwise.  We prayed, talked and prayed some more.  Then the Lord sent a word and said "Yes indeed I want you to adopt!"  We agreed with the Lord and looked at one another and Terry said "Carrie, you know what this means don't you?"  I looked at him unable to speak because of the sob choking my throat.  He continued "We have hit the reset button on our lives.  We are starting over.  Things we were pursuing and chasing and looking forward to are no more the focus of our lives.  We have moved the finish line back, alot.  We have hit the reset button!"  Yes we have, and instead of disappointment I feel excited.  Excited that God wants to do something big through us.  No we are not worthy of His involvement in our lives.  But we are willing.  I have heard that adoption is like a roller coaster.  And already I can agree.  We have only just begun but we have been up and down a couple of times.  Up when we got God's word, down when I open an email detailing that  the processing of Ethiopian adoptions will be cut by 90%, up when I choose to believe God knew that was gonna happen and up even further when word comes that the decision has been changed!!  When I look at the cost of all ahead, down, down, down.  Up when I read biographies of people where God provided over and over again.  People like Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, and George Mueller, who told no one of their needs but God provided.  Down again when I am going about my day and the thought hits me that I have a child out there that is not in my care and I can't get to her and I don't know how long it is going to be till I get to her.  All this is just the beginning, so I am told.  But there is a great hope in a great God!  And He started this anyways so we will be a willing participant.